My birth father!!!

      So most of us go through life with one father. And have a bond that you can carry through life!!! So here is the story of my two dads. First my birth father and second my stepfather H.
       My birth father was born in a small northern manitoba town. He met my mother when he would visit his cousin who was in juvenial detention. They we're both 16 when they met and were very much in love. This was the 70's so life was pretty much about freedom and exploration. My mother got pregnant at 16 and had me at 17. They lived together in the city of winnipeg. Apparently my dad liked to drink alot and would beat my mother. I remember seeing them fight but my mother would always send me away to my auntie who lived on third floor of the building we lived in. Anyways my dad and i when i was young would go to the fair and do fun things. He taught me how to ride my bike i remember this as it was just after a rain shower and there were puddles everywhere. And when he let go of the back of my banana seat bike from canadian tire i fell into a puddle as trying to see my mother on the balcony behind me where she was watching!!! We used to have fun when he was sober but his drinking got worse and the fights got worse aswell. I remember being outside and seeing his clothes go flying off the balcony and a black budha we had which hit the ground and didn't break.So they seperated and then my mother changed my last name to hers. I didn't see him again for awhile after that!!
      Then one day when i was about 8 he came around as he was in a nearby halfway house for alcohol and drug abuse. So he asked my mom one day if he could have me on weekends! She said yes as she didn't want me to go through life without knowing my father and also we lived on a street where most kids didn't know their dad! So on weekends he would pick me up and we would do events such as see movies on the army base or swimming at pan am. It was always a fun time we would even rent vhs movies and i would always pick out madonna's like a virgin videos!! hahaha!! Then one day when i was waiting for him to come get me after a terrible ride on the school bus home where i would often get picked on. I waited and waited with my bag and he never showed up!!!! I was heartbroken!! But i always had my mother!!!
      One day later on my twelvth birthday he called me and asked to take me out for my dinner. We went to garbonzos where i had chicken cacciatore and a rootbeer in a mug. He gave me a book of Garfields nine lives!! Then i never saw him again. Then when i was 15 and not living at home as i ran away i got his number and he was living in vancouver. We spent many hours chatting on the phone!!! I was so happy to be in touch with him especially as i wasnt living at home with my mom. I was envisioning moving there with him and having a great life!! So one day when my aunt was visiting with her bf in from vancouver and i was living with my grandmother. Her bf had to go to vancouver and so i decided to go there and surprise my father. So when i had gotten to vancouver i called my father. And this is just when call display came out, i called and he was so happy to hear from me and to know i was in vancouver. He told me to call back in two hours and we would do something while i was in town. I had never been so happy and excited. So i called and guess what??? No answer there was no answer for the whole time i was in vancouver!!! I had never been disappointed in my life. So back to winnipeg to family who was there for me always!!!
       I'm 17 and living at my grandmothers still who was away at work at a fishing lodge. So i had the place to myself. One day when i was out at my aunts my father calls and turns out he's back in winnipeg. And at this time i'm already Dita living as a woman. He asks to speak to me and when i get on the phone he starts going off on me about wearing the mark of the beast and how could i disgrace the family?? So as anyone who is infuriated i went off on him saying who the hell do you think you are? You were never there for me. You did nothing for me in my life. You're nobody i hate you i wish you were dead and i hung up. So about a week later i'm at home(granny's) and my mother calls and says she wants to come over for a pot of tea. So i put it on and when she gets there she says she talked to granny and has some news to me and asks me to sit. So here i am worried about my grandmother. And my mother begins to tell me that they found my father dead and that he had shot himself in the face. I got up and said oh well serves him right! Then began to chug a beer!! My mother calls me by my real name and says don't be like that!! I then broke down and cried. So this is two weeks before my 18th birthday which in manitoba is when you become legal to drink. His funeral was set for the day after my birthday which already landed on a sunday and back then you couldn't drink on a sunday!!!
        Funeral day outta respect i dressed as a boy as best as i could. Brought my cousin with me and we sat there listening to people speak of my father and my grandfather spoke of everyone in the family except for me. Kinda of rude my father just died and i am totally forgotten at the funeral his only legitmate child ignored. But after the funeral i met many of his friends who said they thought he was always lying when he would mention a son. So it was nice to know he talked of me even though he wasn't in my life!!! I still wish i could have said nicer things to him and that day i need you in my life. But thats something i will never get the chance and have to remember that he loved me no matter what. Maybe he was unable to be there cause he was dealing with his own issues. But he was my father and no one else would ever be!!!